For the darkest & stormiest of nights...As bad openings for a novel go, this one was epic.
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
Out of this breathless torrent of immortal words, sprang the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest. The competition challenges writers to compose THE BEST bad openings to imaginary novels (across any genre).
Here's one of the Dishonorable Mentions for Crime/Detective:
I knew that dame was damaged goods when she first sauntered in, and I don't mean lightly scratched and dented goods that a reputable merchant like Home Depot might offer in a clearly marked end display sale; no, she was more like the kind of flashy trashy plastic knockoff that always carries a child-choking hazard that no self-respecting 11-year-old Chinese sweat shop kids would ever call theirs. — Tom Billings, Minneapolis, MN
and one more, from Dishonorable Mentions, Historical Fiction:
The year was 1792, and the French Royal family was like a well-watered topiary: lush, widespread, and in need of a good pruning. — Arch Robison, Champaign, IL
Go to http://bit.ly/1igIxRo to bask in the glorious prose that is the #BulwerLytton contest winners!
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